Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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