so explain again why im purple
no
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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