i just had sex bonerless
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
