when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
