her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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