i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
