Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
