awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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