Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
