You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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