how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
