so explain again why im purple
no
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
