But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
