I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize