Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize