so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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