this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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