he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
