And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
