hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
