what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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