Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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