walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The police scanner is talking about you again....
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
