i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
