He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
