Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
