Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When are your genitals available?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
