He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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