Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
