i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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