It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
