No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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