I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
