the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
