I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
