Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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