i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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