do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
