batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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