omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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