whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
