i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
