if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
