Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
