their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just found a bag of teeth...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
