i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
