He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
