So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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