And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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