do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
