Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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