I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
