you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
