Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
