how can u be prego again
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
