What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
