The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
should my penis look like a turkey
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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