Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
