there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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