What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
