but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
