I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
